The Primary Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse

About Timothy N. Fury

Timothy N. Fury, or TNF 13, is a pseudonym based on the dragon Toothless, who is a “Night Fury”. This dragon is from the much-admired Dreamworks movie series How To Train Your Dragon. In these movies, a boy named Hiccup is growing up in a Viking culture where dragons and Vikings are at war, and dragons are to be killed. When Hiccup comes across a downed dragon, however, he befriends it… and eventually convinces the rest of his village, including his stubborn father, that warring with dragons is simply not working well. His idea is that dragons and Vikings could be friends, and that this friendship will curb the dragons’ wanton destruction.

So...The Prevention Tie-In...

In the fight against child sexual abuse, there are many different organizations and many different approaches. Many of these approaches vary, but usually involve educating children on boundaries, safe vs. unsafe touch, and a heavy emphasis on punishing those who have committed sex crimes. These approaches aim to stop abuse where it is already occurring, or to stop further abuse from those who have already abused, which are tertiary prevention methods. These popular tertiary approaches, such as sex offender registries and community notification laws (like Megan’s Law), are not based in fact and do little to prevent abuse before it can happen.

The other thing that these popular approaches have in common is they rely on sexual abuse to either be ongoing, or to already have occurred. Primary prevention means that a child is spared the horror of child sexual abuse or exploitation before it happens because a potential abuser receives help before it can happen. While preventing sexual abuse may sound difficult, it is necessary, not only for the sake of those who would otherwise go on to abuse children, but to the children they then avoid abusing.

Why A Pseudonym?

I believe the facts should take first priority when discussing sexual abuse. I use the pseudonym of Timothy N. Fury, or TNF, because child sexual abuse is such an emotional topic for people, and not every reaction is rational.

There have been many different responses. Some of those responses have been overwhelmingly positive, but there have also been threats to “visit me in person” as well as death threats, accusations that I am a sex offender, and more.

I see the use of a pseudonym as a method of staying safe, and a method of protecting my ability to say what the facts and the research on these topics say, rather than allowing the fear for my safety, job, or relationships dictate what I say. Academic expression is a form of free speech and must remain objective and focused on the facts. Also, I do not want the desire for money or popularity to compromise the ideals that started my advocacy: A desire to see the lessons I have learned from my experiences with sexual abuse be learned by others, before a child is hurt.

What Is Your History? Why Advocate?

I was sexually abused by three people growing up. That abuse affected my beliefs and how I saw acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior, such that how I saw my abuse seemed normal, and how I saw age-appropriate experimentation as a child seemed like abuse, because I was projecting my adult self onto my memories. I also developed a sexual attraction to children during puberty, which was very difficult to deal with, because I erroneously thought that it made me a risk for sexually abusing a child. 

The effects of being abused and being minor attracted had a significant impact on my mental health, and I attempted suicide and went through a treatment/therapy program to help uncover why I was being hard on myself for having an attraction I did not choose, and why I thought that made me a risk to children. 

Today, I advocate because I know that the facts of my experiences are not being addressed in our policies, and because I want to get help to others before they cause the pain I experienced as a child. 

What Do You Do, Other Than Advocating?

I read fiction and news, play video games, watch anime and movies, play board games, listen to music, and grow plants. Right now, my favorite plants are cacti. My favorite book authors in no order are Cassandra Clare, Ted Dekker, Stephanie Meyer, J.K. Rowling, and Christopher Paolini. My favorite video games usually involve a strategy or shooting element. My favorite board games are Battleship, Risk, Axis and Allies, and chess. 

I also enjoy Nightwish, and soundtracks to movies I enjoy, like 300, Slumdog Millionaire, How To Train Your Dragon, Zootopia, Blade, Underworld, The Matrix, Harry Potter, and many more. 

What Do You Think About The Laws?

That depends on which laws we are discussing. When it comes to laws restricting and heavily punishing sex offenders, I am against them for a wide variety of reasons that are discussed in the systemic prevention section and the sex offender overview section. In short, they are overly punitive based on an expectation of recidivism that does not meet with reality and distract the public from what they can be doing to prevent sexual abuse.

I maintain that child sexual abuse material should remain illegal, and not be minimized in what it is called (even by calling it by its legal term, “child pornography”). Any image that depicts a real child in a sexual situation with other children or adults is what I consider to be sexual exploitation and abuse material. Likewise, I maintain that an older child or adult being sexual with a younger child, should remain illegal and prosecuted so that the offender and victim(s) can get the appropriate mental health help. While there are some situations that are illegal that should not be (like a 15-year-old being sexual with a 15-year-old that they are dating), I have formed no opinion on these discussions on age of consent and have no solutions to offer.

I am against mandatory reporting laws applied to individuals and therapists: Not only do they decrease the reporting of sexual abuse because family members and close friends do not want to ruin a loved one’s life through getting them the very therapy that could help them, they make it harder for people who want mental health help to seek it. These things can interfere with our ability to get the necessary mental health help to victims, abusers, and potential abusers. Likewise, there should be mandatory reporting in an institutional environment, like sports teams, school systems, and other organizations that work with children. 

Do You Support Sex Offenders?

I support and commend any person that recognizes that crime is not a wise option and wishes to remain law-abiding, and that includes sex offenders. I believe there are few things more admirable than someone who owns the responsibility for their crime and chooses to make better decisions. I do not support poor decision-making by any kind of offender that could lead them back to committing crimes.

 

Do You Support Pedophiles?

I support those with a sexual attraction to children who wish to remain law-abiding (minor attracted people), and I support making help more widely and readily available to those with this attraction. I do not support the minority of these people who seek to change age of consent laws or otherwise seek to make sexual activity with children acceptable.

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Please read our terms of use (https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/terms-of-use.html) and privacy policy (https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/privacy-policy.html). Indicate that you have read and understood them, or wish to be taken elsewhere below. By clicking yes, you indicate you agree to be bound by our terms, and are at least 13 years of age.

Terms of Service

By using this site and its affiliates, https://csaprimaryprevention.blogspot.com and https://aboutpedophilia.com, you agree to the following terms and conditions, as well as the privacy policy:

  • If you do not agree with these terms of use, do not use this site.
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  • Should you seek mental health help for any reason, you are hereby notified that a mental health provider may be required to report to law enforcement under circumstances specific to that provider and the location they are in. These are called “mandatory reporting laws”: These laws vary by location, and you are responsible for knowing what they are and how they affect your situation.
  • The research and information covered in this site is open for discussion, and in no way breaches or breaks the boundaries of the law in any state of the United States of America where I live.
  • I am not a mental health professional nor do I claim to have any formal medical background. I am not liable, either expressly or in an implied manner, nor claim any responsibility for any emotional or physical problems that may occur directly or indirectly from reading this site.
  • TNF 13 is the author of “The Primary Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse” blog and site. TNF 13 is its own entity, and “The Primary Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse” is not affiliated with any organization, nor is TNF 13 a spokesperson any organization named or linked in both sites. TNF 13 references materials from a variety of sources for ease of access and claims no responsibility for external material. The existence of any links or name mentions do not constitute an endorsement by TNF 13 of that organization or individual’s views or activities.

Mental Health Warnings And Disclaimers

  • This is an informational site. The resources made available by this website are general in nature, and provided for informational purposes only. They are the opinions of a non-professional. This site should not be used to replace the specialized training and professional judgment of a health care or mental health care professional.
  • This site cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. Please always consult a physician or a trained mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others.
  • Self-help information and information from the internet is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are currently in treatment or in therapy, please consult your therapist, psychiatrist or mental health professional before you use any of the information contained herein.
  • This website and its content (including any uploaded information) is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, medical, legal, or any other advice. In addition, this site makes no representations or warranties and expressly disclaims any and all liability concerning any treatment or action by any person following the information offered or provided within or through the website. If you have specific concerns or find yourself in a situation in which you require professional or medical advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.
  • All information is intended only to help you cooperate with your doctor, in your efforts toward desirable sexual health. Only you and your doctor can determine what is right for you.
  • All information is generalized, presented for informational purposes only, not medical advice, and presented “as is” without warranty or guarantee of any kind.

Privacy Policy

TNF 13/Timothy N. Fury operates the website https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org and the blogs https://csaprimaryprevention.blogspot.com and https://aboutpedophilia.com, which provides free resources, discussion points, and non-expert advice into preventing sexual abuse before it can happen, herein collectively referred to as “Service”.

This page is used to inform website and blog visitors regarding our policies with the collection, use, and disclosure of Personal Information if anyone decides to use our Service.

If you choose to use our Service, then you agree to the collection and use of information as outlined by this policy. The Personal Information that we collect are used for providing and improving the Service. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy.

The terms used in this Privacy Policy have the same meanings as in our Terms and Conditions, which is accessible at https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/terms-of-use.html, unless otherwise defined in this Privacy Policy.

Information Collection and Use

For a better experience while using our Service, you have the option on the contact pages of providing us with certain personally identifiable information, including but not limited to your name, email address, news organization, and whatever information you choose to provide. The information that we collect will be used to contact and identify you, but will be kept confidential UNLESS:

  • You indicate a crime has been committed that has not been reported to law enforcement
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  • We suspect a crime has been committed

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We want to inform you that whenever you visit our Service, third-party services (including but not limited to: Google Analytics, Cloudfare, Twitter, Facebook) collect information that your browser sends to us that is called Log Data. This Log Data may include information such as your computer’s Internet Protocol (“IP”) address, browser version, pages of our Service that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages, and other statistics intended to improve the services available on the site.

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Service Providers

We may employ third-party companies (i.e., Cloudfare, Google Analytics, Twitter, Facebook) due to the following reasons:

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We want to inform our Service users that these third parties have access to your Personal Information. The reason is to perform the tasks assigned to them on our behalf. However, they are obligated not to disclose or use the information for any other purpose.

Security

We value your trust in providing us your Personal Information, thus we are striving to use responsible means of protecting it. Always remember that no method of transmission over the internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure and reliable, and we cannot guarantee its absolute security.

A lot could be said about anonymity and the internet, and there are many guides on this. It is your responsibility, if anonymity and privacy are a concern to you, to use services and products that address those concerns.

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Our Service may contain links to other sites. If you click on a third-party link, you will be directed to that site. Note that these external sites are not operated by us. Therefore, we strongly advise you to review the Privacy Policy of these websites, read more. We have no control over, and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third-party sites or services.

Children’s Privacy

Our Services do not address anyone under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personal identifiable information from children under 13. In the case we discover that a child under 13 has provided us with personal information, we immediately delete this from our servers. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your child has provided us with personal information, please contact us so that we will be able to delete the appropriate data.

Changes to this Privacy Policy

We may update our Privacy Policy from time to time. Thus, we advise you to review this page periodically for any changes. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page. These changes are effective immediately, after they are posted on this page.

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  • Readers are cautioned not to rely on this information as medical advice and to consult a qualified mental health professional other appropriate professional to address their specific needs or circumstances.
  • Please seek immediate professional help:
  • If you have thoughts of harming or killing yourself or others
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    • If you or a loved one are in need of an intervention